Cancer and the Grand Canyon - Written in honor of my brother Kenneth and friend Louise who both lost their earthly bodies to cancer.

CANCER AND THE GRAND CANYON

“Life is what went on between the dashes on the date of the tombstone”

       Caution:  The following content might cause the reader to cheer, jeer, have fears, or bring tears.
                                      This warning label was added at my nieces suggestion.
 
Like in the movie “UP” the first time I started writing this segment, I got squirreled!  Not sure how it happened, when it was supposed to be about nature, but that rabbit took a whole different route, and ended up written about children, so I am going to give it another try.

Another movie that I recently watched was, “The Help.”  One of the things that struck me and stuck with me, besides the obvious, is that one of the characters had the habit of writing down her prayers. That seemed like such a good idea!  Besides that, I am getting older, and find it more difficult to recall some of the things that are important to me.  Did I mention dementia?

As the owner of a highly demanding but financially rewarding and self-fulfilling business endeavor, I had often made the statement, “That I enjoyed my work so much that I will die at my desk, and there are probably some people who wish I would!”

All I can say, God’s agenda and yours may not always be in tune, but if you listen, you can dance to his music!   After fifteen years of hard work, I had the best team together I had ever had, and let me tell you I had kissed some frogs in the process.  After the 911 incident, money was more readily available for purchases in the fire equipment industry, and life was going good.

My receptionist was well trained, and no one was allowed into my office without my prior approval.  So when the natural gas industry arrived in our area and their representatives came to visit me, she turned them away.  They made an appointment and the next time they approached me about purchasing or leasing my buildings and land to house their enterprise.  At that time I told them, “No thank you, I’m not interested,” and sent them on their way. 

A week later they came back and said they were still interested and quoted me a very lucrative offer.  My husband and son sat in on this conversation, and were very upset when again I said, “No thank you.”  At that point, the representatives asked what it would take to seal the deal, and I made a counter offer.  I thought my husband was going to faint!  After they left, he said, “Well, they won’t be back, you should have taken their offer!”  My response was, “I don’t care, I don’t want to sell, and I don’t care if they come back or not!”

One month later, the sign on the building that had housed my company had changed from LEECO to SEECO.  My staff, office furniture, files, and inventory was moved to my house. It took another three months to close out customer accounts, deliver products, sell down inventory, and liquidate the dealerships.  A competitor purchased the remaining inventory and office equipment as well as providing employment to my loyal employees, and I was left on my own.

Well, Lord just what do you have planned for me now?  Believe it or not, I never once missed the hectic life and enjoyed not having to stay on a schedule, answer a five line phone, or make management decisions.  My health improved, and there was time to contemplate on what was important in my life and to concentrate my efforts on my favorite people, my family!

As in any well written story, the actual day to day struggles are condensed so you don’t wear down your readers and place extra stress on them, but it is understood that between the lines there were lots of questions, second guessing, and depressing times in my life.  This just strengthens the reason that we should always emphasize the positive side of things.   All things in life are temporary. If things are going well then enjoy it, they may not last forever. If things are going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.

After my retirement and I had rested up, I had time to renew old acquaintances and catch up with family members.  One was an old friend and it saddened me to learn that she had cancer, but was encouraged that is was in remission.  We had great times playing games, visiting flea markets, and talked via phone every day about our lives and life in general. But life caught up with her and the cancer returned.

She started a second round of chemotherapy and was in a weakened state and a great deal of pain.  One weekend she was hospitalized and when we talked she was planning on going home. As a widow her only support was one son, one sister, a male friend, and me. She did go home, but not from the hospital. 

Her son called me and asked if we could each rotate staying one day and one night with her, and would I take the fourth day, because he was going to be out of town.  I told my husband that I dreaded it because I felt she would probably take her leave on my watch. When I arrived that morning, her friend told me she had spent a fretful night, and couldn’t seem to relax.  I held her hand, talked to her, and just sat and watched in silent prayer.  After several hours, her labored breathing became relaxed and then ceased altogether.  It is an honor being with someone when they depart this world.  As I said at her eulogy, “Geez, Louise, we’re gonna miss ya!”

At seven years old, before I wass born, my older brother had polio and required a surgery every year until he was sixteen.  One leg never fully developed, and he had to wear a built-up shoe.  He was literally the poster child for polio, and a copy of that leaflet is one of my prized possessions.

As far as I know, he never complained about his lot in life, and never allowed his affliction to become a handicap.  He and his family had moved back and purchased my paternal Grandmother’s farm. After a freak automobile accident, what we referred to as his good leg had to be amputated and he remained in a wheelchair.  Yet he never complained.

Now we are going to have to get to the Grand Canyon, because I am about out of my limit of pages.  At any rate, with his children grown and away from home he, his wife, and I decided to head out west to look the country over.  What a trip!  We packed boiled eggs, sandwiches, chips, drinks, and lots of sweet treats and we were off to see and eat things we had only heard about.  As we laughingly discussed later, the things we took proved to be the best meals we had!

One of those sights was the Grand Canyon and what a sight to behold.  There is no way that someone can view that beautiful place and not believe that there is a God!  We stayed on our vacation for two weeks and saw and did things that will be cherished forever; which is a good, because he too went home to be with the Lord after a short battle with cancer of the pancreases.  He opted to forgo treatments, and instead chose to stay at home to wait on the Lord’s call.

Now you might ask what cancer, death, and the Grand Canyon have in common.  Well, they are all mysteries to us but known by God.  The most vivid memories aren't those carved in stone but the ones etched in the mind. Memory deepens through the years; the way a river carves through rock, slowly creating canyons, revealing old layers, perhaps unveiling happiness or even pain, bringing it all back.  Sometimes the river cannot be contained and will overflow its banks. You feel the emotions swelling.  It might be on an anniversary, birthday, or when you hear a certain song, or for no discernible reason at all. But, you have that memory and a place to return to, if only in your heart and mind, that gives you happiness and courage to take the final trip.   

Maybe my unplanned retirement was God giving me the opportunity to reconnect with these wonderful people.  In order to get something you never had, you have to do something you have never done. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands so receive something better.

 Maya Angelo is one of my many favorite authors, and she hails from my home state, the following is an except that I want to share:

  “I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.  I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights (*or cancer and death*).  I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

PRECIOUS MEMORIES

CHORUS
PRECIOUS MEMORIES, HOW THEY LINGER - HOW THEY EVER FLOOD MY SOUL
IN THE STILLNESS, OF THE MIDNIGHT - PRECIOUS, SACRED SCENES UNFOLD

VERSE#1
PRECIOUS MEMORIES, UNSEEN ANGELS - SENT FROM SOMEWHERE TO MY SOUL
HOW THEY LINGER, EVER NEAR ME - AND THE SACRED PAST UNFOLD.

VERSE#2
PRECIOUS FATHER, LOVING MOTHER - FLY ACROSS THE LONELY YEARS;
AND OLD HOME SCENES OF MY CHILD-HOOD - IN FOND MEMORY APPEAR.

VERSE#3
AS I TRAVEL, ON LIFE'S PATHWAY - KNOW NOT WHAT THE YEARS MAY HOLD;
AS I PONDER, HOPE GROWS FONDER - PRECIOUS MEMORIES FLOOD MY SOUL.

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